1. Stop Swearing
Arguments and fights happen in all relationships. But one of the fundamental elements that aggravate arguments is the use of swear words and profanities. While you may have inadvertently called your boyfriend an a**h**e or called your girlfriend a bi**h in a fit of rage or while making fun of them, these words may very well stick with them. After a fight, your partner may very well be thinking aloud, “Wow she called me an a**h**e in front of everyone” or, “He says he loves me but he calls me a bi**h. How rude of him.”
Make it a rule and stick to it – you or your partner will not use swear words when you argue.
Looking at old pictures of the both of you will ignite an emotional spark and help you remember the good times that you have spent together. |
Sour
2. Look at Old Pictures of The Two of You Together
Looking at old pictures of the both of you will ignite an emotional spark and help you remember the good times that you have spent together. It’s one of the easiest stimulants that can get you to stop fighting with your significant other.
If you feel like all the two of you do is fight, put on some comfortable jammies, fix yourself a nice cup of cappuccino, play romantic music, and just lay on your bed as you flip through your precious pictures and loving memories. I promise that you’ll be feeling better in no time. They will also remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place.
3. Remember the Beginning of Your Relationship
Do you remember the cute little things that you did to impress your significant other before your relationship started? Yes, we are talking about all the innocent flirting, touching of hands, the long drives, the romantic dates, and so on.
Think of the spark that was burning inside you and the urge you had to just hug your partner and stay in their arms all night long. This is the stuff that romantic movies are made off, and you will get a lot of goosebumps as your mind goes on a happy, little emotional roller coaster. Such warm and loving thoughts will help you mellow down. Who knew learning how to stop fighting would be some much fun?
4. Try and Picture Your Life Without Them
If you really want to save your relationship and end your never-ending arguments, think about the disadvantages of living your life without your partner. No longer will you have someone to hug in the middle of the night or take care of you when you’re sick. You won’t have anyone to share your secrets with. Who will hold you in your arms and say, “I love you?” Who will look into your eyes and smile? Who will tolerate your idiosyncrasies and quirky little habits?
These are just a few questions to ponder about. Remember that life without them can possibly be much worse than the rough patch that your relationship is going through.
Do you have a bad habit that is coming in between you and your efforts to save your relationship?
5. Reflect: Do You Have a Pattern of Doing This?
Do you have a bad habit that is coming in between you and your efforts to save your relationship? It could be something as silly as being a nagging girlfriend or an overtly possessive boyfriend to something as serious as a nasty flirting habit. We all have our idiosyncrasies, and it is our right to expect our partners to tolerate them. You also need to remember that the person you are dating has their own set of flaws and is not going to be perfect all of the time.
But if one of your habits is continuously pushing the limits, maybe it is time for a little introspection. Maybe it is time you sat down with a calm head and thought about something that you may be doing, again and again, that annoys your partner. You may be winning all the arguments, but are you really right?
Don’t Get Defensive Right Away
It’s human nature to immediately become defensive when someone accuses us of something—I get it. But it’s important to take a step back and objectively look at the situation. Did you actually do something that made your significant other angry? If so, just apologize. Their feelings are valid, and they maybe have a right to be upset. And if you feel like your words or actions were justified, try explaining why you did what you did in a calm manner. Help them understand your side while still showing that you understand that they are hurt or upset.
Try and utilize these two phrases the next time you get into an argument with your partner: “I see your point'” and “Maybe you’re right about that part.”
Become More Mindful.
It’s important to spend some time getting to know yourself and your reactions to different scenarios. Do you notice that you have a tendency to blow up when you feel like your partner is criticizing you? Do you project your own insecurities onto others? Try and take a little time out of each day to meditate or journal. It’s important to figure out what makes you tick. Meditation is also a great way to ground yourself and is a reminder that feelings are only temporary.
6. If You Are in a Bad Mood, Back Off
We all have days where we’re just not in the best mood. If you are having a bad day and your temper is short, step back and refrain from getting into any heated conversations with your partner. If they start a discussion that touches a tender nerve, just tell them something along the lines of, “Look, it’s best if we don’t talk right now. I’m not in the right frame of mind.” By backing off at the right moment, you can avoid a fight that could have turned into something much bigger.
7. Take a Break
If you’re in the midst of a fight, sometimes it’s better to just walk away and take a breather—you don’t want to say something you’ll regret. Head to separate rooms and chill out with some TV or a book. That way, you can resume your discussion when you’re both more level-headed.
Spend a Few Days Apart
At some point, partners who continuously argue with each other may, in fact, believe that their lives are better off without each other. If you think this may be the case with your relationship, get a taste of loneliness by spending a few days apart.
You will likely realize how much you enjoy their company and how important the relationship is to you.
Pro tip: Don’t attend a party or an event where there is alcohol. Booze can make you do the wrong thing at the wrong time with the wrong company.
If you’re unable to spend some time apart or believe it would do your relationship more harm than good, Sloan suggests this tip: “Declare that for a period of time, say, 48 hours, you’ll talk only about news, sports, and weather. Give yourselves some breathing room and build positive energy. That energy will help you hear each other and solve the problem while also protecting your relationship from too much negativity.”
