Fitness expert and entrepreneur Maje Ayida has opened up about his battle with depression in the aftermath of his widely publicised divorce from media personality Toke Makinwa.
Speaking during a church service hosted by Pastor Bolaji Idowu, Ayida recounted the emotional and psychological toll the divorce took on his personal life, mental health, and professional career.
The couple’s marriage ended in 2016 after a public scandal involving infidelity, which was later detailed in Makinwa’s memoir titled On Becoming. The divorce and the surrounding media attention placed Ayida under intense scrutiny, leading to a prolonged period of isolation and mental health challenges. Ayida said he struggled with feelings of shame, self-blame, and paranoia that pushed him to withdraw from society.
“I will be honest about the fact that I went through a divorce which resulted in me being depressed,” Ayida said. “It was a very publicised divorce, and that left me feeling very alone. I withdrew from society. I was really ashamed of my situation.”
Ayida explained that the impact of the divorce went beyond personal embarrassment, affecting his sense of identity and family legacy. He shared that he stopped working and began to lose focus and motivation. The emotional strain caused him to miss out on professional opportunities, including business deals, and he was plagued by insomnia.
“As a man, your work is your identity, and I started to lose work, business deals—so it became a real problem for me,” he stated. “I didn’t even know what sleep was. I had insomnia. I was paranoid as well. I created scenarios in my head that everybody was talking about me. That would just send me back into my own home.”
According to Ayida, he remained in this state for nearly a year. The persistent sense of hopelessness forced him to confront his situation and seek a way forward. He said he began to do research on how to recover from depression, and the key takeaway for him was the need for accountability. Accepting responsibility for his actions marked the beginning of his healing process, even though it initially intensified his emotional pain.
“I made a decision for my own survival because I was living in hopelessness,” Ayida said. “I decided that I didn’t want to stay in this space. The top of the list of the research that I did was accountability. I took the blame on myself. It made me feel worse at first until I began to take practical steps.”
While Ayida’s decision to confront his mental health challenges led to gradual recovery, the aftermath of his divorce continued to unfold publicly. Following the publication of Makinwa’s memoir in which she recounted their tumultuous relationship, Ayida filed a defamation suit against her. He eventually won the case in 2020, but despite the legal victory, the experience left a deep emotional scar.
During his address at the church, Ayida acknowledged that public perception and media narratives made it difficult for him to move forward, especially in a culture where men are often expected to maintain a strong exterior. He highlighted how societal expectations and the silence around men’s mental health further complicated his journey.
Now more open about his past, Ayida appears to be using his story to advocate for mental health awareness and the importance of taking responsibility. His testimony adds to the growing conversation about the psychological impact of public scandals and the importance of emotional healing and accountability in personal growth.
Toke Makinwa, for her part, has continued her media career and has spoken candidly about the experience from her perspective, often emphasizing personal empowerment and emotional resilience. Though both parties have taken separate paths since the divorce, their story remains a notable example of how public figures grapple with deeply personal challenges under the scrutiny of the public eye.
